playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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