What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
