Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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