dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
