Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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