somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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