I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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