The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
