So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
