just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
