I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
two words: eviction party
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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