we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
