I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Please, let me fuck your mom
we made out on top of his cat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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