i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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