So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
