u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
