dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
