I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
