we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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