I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
