i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
