i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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