Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
