I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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