yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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