Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
