I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
