Your mouth is God's brothel.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
