Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
