How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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