haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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