I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
