There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
