What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
