FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
