i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
