Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
