He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
