I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
