u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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