yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
