Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
