Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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