okay pat passed out under dana's car
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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