i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
