Redeem this text for a blowjob
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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