so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
