I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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