I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
