He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
