My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
