I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
