You're so nebulous sometimes
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
